Subject: news from uganda

4/9/2010

Hello to all from Jinja Uganda, I pray all is well with all of you and miss all of you very much. Today makes my 17th day here in Jinja and 19 days since I left all of you in Tunnel Hill. I am still trying it all in and figure out just what my roll is here even though I am officially suppose to be the administrator here at Amani. I have already learned that I that my duties change on a daily bases so if the director sends word for me to be at her house to keep her kids for the day then that is my job that day or if there is a sick child to be held then that’s what I do or if they need help hanging out the laundry then that’s where I will be or if it is work to be done in the office then I will do it. I know GOD has chosen me to serve HIM here for a reason and I may never fully know or understand what that reason is but for now I will serve HIM here how I am to serve HIM here doing what ever He has for me to do.

This week I learned just how little this country takes stock in a child’s life. We received a new little girl this week we think she may be 2 ½ or 3 years old but we are not sure, we don’t even know her name, she had been left just out in the street like you would leave trash. She is very scared and unsure of her new home much like I was and still am at times here.

I was in my office yesterday by myself trying to figure out some of the things I am suppose to be doing in my new job when one of the other volunteers come by with her in their arms crying and very scared. So I reached out to take in my arms and I sit down with her at my decks and asked her did she want to stay with me for a little while. Sitting there rocking the terrified little girl in my arms and started sing to her the song that I sing to Henry P and Larkin Lou back home in the states ( I know I am not the greatest singer but you know what that did not matter) it quieted her down and she lay on my chest until time for lunch. I after here nap I went and held here out on the front lawn while the other kids played.

You what I have been where she is and I know just how she feels being in this strange place, scared, unsure who or what you can trusted, all alone with out friends of family to pick up, love you and tell you things are going to be ok and that you are going to be alright and you are going to make it here. I know exactly how this child feels and what she is facing right now. And I have to praise God that I could fill that gap for this little girl even if it just a few minutes a day.

I have to tell you that I also experienced that helpless feeling that most of you as parents have gone through when you have a sick child and there is not a lot you can do but pray.

One of my smallest babies as an ear infection and she did not want to eat. So I called the hand mama to get her some medicine and all I could do is pray, hold her, love her & sing to her. I would do anything to take the pain away from this precious little baby. You just feel so helpless that they have to go through any of this especially when they are this little.

So no I still don’t know what my really role is here and I may never truly know why God has chosen to use someone like me here but for now it is to serve this precious babies and people however GOD wants me to. Whether that be through hanging out laundry, holding a scared or sick child or even doing the books I will do it all to bring HONOR and GLORY to GOD. Because I here to serve GOD and HIS children no matter how hard it my be.

God is still teaching me a lot of life lessons here each and everyday. HE has also showed me that there a lot of things that I would never understand like throwing a precious child out like trash. HE has and is showing me everyday that HE is where my strength comes from and where my rest comes from each and everyday (especially since I still don’t sleep). HE is where my protection come from each and every day. Several of the girls in the room across from me have bad staff infections and the two rooming with me have had stomach viruses this week. And the lady teaching me in the office has just came down with malaria. They also killed another snake here this week. I even took a really bad fall this week out of a van and hit the ground really hard but GOD has and is still protecting me everyday.

Another lesson I learned this week was how not to order fish. I went to eat with a group of people on Monday night and ordered fish & chips which I have ordered several times now but I did not know at this particular restaurant that had to tell them that I only wanted a fillet and not the whole fish so when my supper came out it was still looking at me.

I thought I had handled it pretty good but everyone with me said the look on my face was priceless.

This is definitely not the fairytale life I would have always dreamed I would be living, you know the one I am talking about with a wonderful husband who is better than Prince Charming and 2 or 3 perfect children in a big house with a big yard. Instead there is 57 crying babies, dippers to change, babies to be fed and laundry to be done 24/7 it never ends here. You sleep on bunk beds, you share a house and showers with 9 other women besides the mamas and babies. There are always power outages at all hours for any length of time, all the dirt & red mud then there’s the no water when you least expect. And of course there’s all the critters you deal with snakes, lizards, spiders, mosquitoes and so much more. No this is not the fairytale life that all of you or even I would have dream about but one thing I know for sure is the life God planed for me for now anyway and it is a very rewarding just the same. (And whose to say HE won’t give me the other

life someday too.) But right now HE blessed me with 57 children to be “Auntie” to and my reward is seeing the smiles on their little faces and in knowing that I can show them GOD’S great love for each them, each and everyday that I am here and that I can fill that gap in their lives until they get a “FOREVER FAMILY“. And I also have the privilege of worker along side this dear Ugandan women. No I may never truly see the impact I made while I am here or even in the states for that matter and I will never know if I truly made a difference in anyone’s life but that’s ok because it is not about me anyway it is all about GOD and HIM being the one to receive the HONOR AND GLORY for everything that happens and not me.

For you see I am just a Muzungu (white person) who doesn't know where she truly belongs or what her real role in life is but I am willing to serve HIM wherever and however HE wants me. But I still honestly have to tell you that if it were not for all of your prayers, emails, facebook chats, and skype calls I would have truly given up by now and came home already because even as rewarding as this is it is also very draining physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. And there is still a lot of red flags here and things here that have my heart very sadden and trouble. Even to the point of question GOD as to why things like this have to happen to precious babies and why send someone like me, what can I do that is going to make any difference here. But I know one thing for sure GOD had a reason and a plan for me to be here and I have to stick it out no matter just how hard it gets. So thank you for staying up with me and chatting during the all the

many nights that I don't sleep. Please continue to pray for me that sleep will come and the children here would all get FOREVER FAMILIES. Please KEEP praying that I would find a save, cheap and close house here to live. Pray that GOD'S WILL, will be done in my life and that I will give him the HONOR AND GLORY FOR IT ALL.

I miss each of you very much and love you more than you will have know. THANK YOU again for everything you have and are doing for me. Blessing to you all and you are all in my prayers.

In Christ

Tracey